There's a half hour window between when Starbucks closes and the study break (read: free food, and the first time I've eaten since before this morning's final) begins, and that half hour is right now. I caught myself wandering around campus at night again, which I haven't done regularly since December or so. It's sort of pleasant, but not a habit I'd like to start again, if I can help it. The epitome of aimlessness. So instead I stopped in here at White Hall to check my mail and write some, which is slightly more productive.

Past few days have been up and down. In the up column, I finally got in touch with Jim, and will be officially staying in his spare bedroom for the summer. Got a bit of a lecture from him on recent events—even though I don't talk to him that often, he tends to hear just about everything about my life, because he cares, and he's not about to relay stuff to my parents, even though he talks to them regularly, too. It's strange: Jim's in his mid-thirties, I think, because he was just out of college and spending nights in our basement when I was two and he was working for CNN in DC. He's known my mom in sort of this older-sister/aunt/friend role for his entire life. And with me and him, it's almost the same age gap and relationship... he's sort of this older brother type, and now I'm in college and staying in his condo for the summer. What's weird to me is that he's seen me grow up, pretty much... I know he remembers what I was like as a toddler, which means he's got to remember all of my stupid middle school years and early high school inanities. He hasn't particularly changed in the past six years or so, but I have. And it's as though he can entirely accept who I am and have been without any trouble. Which is difficult for me to comprehend, but nice.

In the down column, I've been listening to "Up" a lot, recently. Well, okay... so listening to REM isn't a bad thing. It is, however, indicative of my mood... been talking to a lot of people lately, and yes, I'm fine, or will be, or something. Don't worry. Last night Dan and I classified my current state of mind as post-chair-breaking, for anyone who gets the destruction of furniture/junior year of high school reference. (Not that I've broken anything recently.) The only difference being that I'm not actually angry. I don't think I have the capacity to be angry at friends, honestly, unless they're acting extremely uncharacteristic or insensitive. (I'm told that's a good thing, but I'm not sure whether to believe it.) This situation doesn't fall under either of those categories... a fact which I'm quite glad of. Still incredibly confused, but I'm okay. Or will be. It'd be nice if I had someone else to talk to here, though. But there's nothing I can do about that.

So this has been my half hour of typing. Now time for pancakes, and then I've got a Spanish paper to write and a presentation to prepare for tomorrow. After that's done I don't know what I'm doing... I've have my chemistry final on Tuesday and my biology paper due Wednesday, and then I'm completely done with school. Guess I get to just figure it out as I go along—as always.