I Lack An Appropriate Epithet To Describe Just How Cold I Am Right Now

But I assure you, it is cold in here. Cold enough that I am wearing earmuffs and making hot chocolate. It was going to be tea, but tea, despite the obvious benefits of the caffeine, just doesn't satisfy right now. There's something about hot chocolate that makes it feel as though I've just come inside after spending hours out in the snow, fumbling with the fasteners on boots and coats, before shucking the pile of winter clothes at the door and skidding into the kitchen to wrap numb & tingling fingers around a hot mug with slow-melting marshmallows.

My mug lacks marshmallows, though, and so the image is shattered. It's the second week of April, and it shouldn't be this cold — certainly not indoors. There is no snow outside. Moreover, wrapped around the mug, my fingers look (as Andrew informed me this morning) like those of a homeless biker. It's an apt description, really. In desperation last night, I took scissors to my pair of old, pilled stretch gloves, so that I can type without my hands feeling absolutely freezing.

3AM, and I'm more than halfway through my physiology take-home, but not even started the chemistry studying. It's the simplest of the chemistry classes tomorrow, but I resent the test in so many ways. Not least of which is the fact that, as usual, it's encroaching on my regularly scheduled quizbowl time. This physiology test would actually be kind of fun, but it's become long and miserable because once I get done, I don't get to sleep, but to do chem studying.

Sometimes I wish I just got a full, specific compendium of work four weeks before the semester started. Here's what it is, here's the background material you'll need, it's all due for the final. I could deal with that; get the dumb stuff done first and then have time to enjoy a Cervantes reading, to do actual research for physiology instead of just hodgepodging together enough relevant paraphrases, to sit down and model molecular structures like I should be.

Either that or I'd like all my tests to be in essay format. I'm not sure. Maybe both. My marks go up a grade and a half, minimum, if the majority of the grades are writing based. Mainly because I can't stand anything repetative, and that's all the chemistry ever is, it seems. (Computer modelling class aside.) If you're going to test me to see if I've practiced something a dozen times over, I might as well just not bother. Only panic can make me care, and even then, results are variable.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't use this as a forum to gripe so much. It's just I have this take-home, which I really wish I could enjoy, and then the chemistry test, and then I just remembered that next Tuesday I have a test in organic chem, which will be a two hour trip through hell, guaranteed. And so I'm panicking, but also I feel as though there's something skewed and unjust with the world, in an extremely self-centered way. I mean, I'm sitting here with earmuffs and gloves and a blanket wrapped around me, planning to be awake for at least the next four hours, exhausted, with a headache, and I want sleep, dammit. Can't you just slow down time for a bit so I can get some sleep?